You know, I would love to pretend that dementia has already set in so that I can sail through the process of growing old with a smile on my face; but , that is not the case–at least, not today anyway. Today, I remember every ache in my legs, every gray hair that is screaming “look at me!” as it shows through my highlights, every pop of my joints as I bend down to retrieve something.
There are times when growing old is comical, really. I may as well laugh–fewer wrinkle lines, right? Ok, I think that longed for dementia has set in because I cannot think of one supporting detail to justify that topic sentence. Hmm…
Ok, so growing old is not comical. It is frustrating. Part of me just wants the entire process to be done. To be at that point in life when I don’t care what color my hair is; when I don’t care if my legs are covered with billions of tiny spider veins (I have always hated spiders);when I don’t care if the lines around my eyes and all over my face resemble a road map; when I don’t care if the skin on my belly and other strategic places sags and looks like wrinkled prunes left in the sun too long.
Sometimes I look at older women, ok older than me, and am in awe at the way they seem to have accepted their fates. They still dress with style. They lead fulfilling lives. They contribute meaningfully to their communities. And, I wonder if it really bothers them that they are older.
Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe you get to that point when you accept that you are older–and IT DOESN”T MATTER! That is what I am waiting for. That moment when I look at myself and think, “It doesn’t matter. You are wonderful the way you are.” All those things that I have worried about and have obsessed about will just disappear. POOF! I will no longer feel the need to fight the process;it will already have happened.
What a relief that will be!
Oh my! This is exactly how I feel! I have been afraid to admit it, but this captures my feelings exactly. I am aching for the day when I accept my aging–or maybe I’m just aching because I am aging. I, too, can’t wait for the relief.
Oh, my, Woman! You are so BEAUTIFUL! I will admit to laughing through this whole piece, though. I could hear your voice in it…no, literally! I could hear your intonation and inflections! It was like you were here in the room with me. Favorite line: When I don’t care if the skin on my belly and other strategic places sags…! What a hoot! You are wonderful the way you are. Go look in the mirror and say that to yourself over and over and over. Then email me and tell me how many times you laughed hysterically when trying to do it! We need another girls night out soon!
I will have to record that mantra “You are wonderful just the way you are…you are wonderful just the way you are…” and play it all night long so that subliminal message overrides the vision that my brain is TRYING sooooo hard to overlook and say instead “you are wonderful the way you are…” Too funny! I may try that sometime. Giggles are bound to happen. Then nausea. Then chocolate to the rescue! You are awesome Woman. We definitely need a girls’ night SOON!
I could also hear your voice reading this to me. I felt like I was right there next to you! You are wonderful just the way you are. One of these days we will be laughing and in the 10%. Then we can do whatever we want! 🙂 Thank you so much for the good laugh. I love your comment about hating spiders, I couldn’t agree more.
Awe the joys of getting older. Dementia – my daughter says it’s happening to me already, because I stop midsentence and she’s saying, “Yes, go on.” I know it’s getting older, because I have way more on my mind than I did before. Great post. Keep smiling though, I’m sure you are beautiful. Your words show it. 🙂
Mentally I am not old, then I look in the mirror and it says otherwise. But as soon as I look away I see myself twenty or thirty years younger in my mind. So I say, don’t look in the mirror.
I love that philosophy. There are times when ignorance is bliss!
Yes, you never seem as old as you become. Aging is a trip. As long as I can walk and talk though I’m fine. Have to keep up with the grandkids now.
I don’t recall ever buying a ticket for this trip. But, since amazing women like you are going too, then it’ll be a good time! Glad you are slicing. We need to communicate more often–in person!
I honestly can’t believe you wrote this. It had to be me! You could be my daughter!!! Where did you get this? You are a beautiful GIRL! Live life to the fullest NOW. You are NOT old. I’m not sure where you are getting this. Don’t let life pass you by. There is too much to live for with your little one and well you know what I mean! We do need to go out and just talk! I feel like sometimes it it hard to be yourself when so many other things get in the way. Enough said. Take care WOMAN! Thanks for sharing! You did make me laugh! Are you a comedian? Happy Slicing! 🙂
You look wonderful but do love the description of sagging skin that looks like prunes left out in the sun. What a “pretty” picture you made.